Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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