I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
