i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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