I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
