fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
