When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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