They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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