Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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