i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
