if i died would you start the facebook group?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
