i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
