i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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