bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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