He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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