Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
