I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
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