He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
