i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
