I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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