we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize