and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
