Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
