She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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