This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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