We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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