I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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