He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Ladies don't puke and tell
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
