Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
