the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
