But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
