just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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