what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She needs sedatives and a leash
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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