Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
