You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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