you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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