i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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