You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
There r osticjed everywhere
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
