Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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