New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize