I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have already put on my inside pants.
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