I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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