I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
