Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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