so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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