wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
