So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
