I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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