What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
