i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
