After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm passing your future prison.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
