Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
