they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
