Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
