Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
