It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
