drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
How naked do you want me to be?
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