Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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