so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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