What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize