And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
