Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
