And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
