Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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