hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
