My friends, they love my intelligence
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
