Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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