I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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