I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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