Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
it hurts more in the daytime
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
